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Givemeliberty - Proposed Illinois legislation would ban powdered alcohol - Quincy, IL News - QuincyJournal.com
Statism: "Ideas so good they have to be mandated" "We don't need people spiking beverages" Sen. Ira Silverstein you sir are a statist, and upon reading this I spiked my coffee with a little bourbon just because I can.
Givemeliberty - Police-fire pensions to go up in smoke? - Quincy, IL News - QuincyJournal.com
What would be the harm with going forward and converting pensions to 401k's for any public sector employee who has 10 years or under, and any new hires? Phasing out pensions. This would give the employee more control of their retirement and not unaccountable politicians. This could also be rolled into a way to phase out SS for anyone who chooses.
Sv3 - Police shooting, pursuit in Downtown Hannibal - Quincy, IL News - QuincyJournal.com
Hmmm... I wonder if the "Hands up don't shoot" crowd will care about this one.
WmMunny - Police shooting, pursuit in Downtown Hannibal - Quincy, IL News - QuincyJournal.com
People play stupid games. People win stupid prizes.
EgoReputo - The Patio restaurant could open as early as February 1 - Quincy, IL News - QuincyJournal.com
Uh, since you apparently know something about restaurant business practices, can you list the local restaurants that attract "riff-raff". You would be doing a real public services for anyone who eats out......

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Editorials & Opinion

Strawman: Some Call It Red Ass.....Others Call It Obamabutt

11 months, 4 weeks ago by Strawman

 

The doctor entered the room and found a middle aged man sitting on the examination table.  The patient was attired in a hospital gown and black socks.  His shoulders were slumped and he continued to shift side-to-side on the table.

“What seems to be the problem Mr, (and with that the doctor glanced at patient’s chart), Citizen?  Citizen, is that right?”

“That’s right, doctor”, the patient responded.  “I’m A. Joe Citizen.”

“My I ask what the A stands for?” the doctor inquired.

“Average”, said the patient.  “That’s me—just Average Joe Citizen."

“Well Mr. Citizen, what seems to be the problem?” asked the doctor.

And with that the patient stood up, pulled his gown up around his waist and pointed his naked, swollen, red backside at the doctor.

“It’s my butt,” said the patient.  “It hurts all the time to the point I can barely sit down.  And the flatulence is unbelievable,” he continued.  “No matter what I eat my farts smell like an old ashtray.”

“You can put your gown down now,” said the doctor as he made a few notes on his chart.  “How long has this been going on?”

“It started in January 2009……well, I first noticed it during the summer of 2008,” said the patient.  “At first my backside was just tender and the flatulence happened rarely.  But now it’s to the point that I can barely live with it.”

“This isn’t the first case I’ve seen,” said the doctor.  “And I don’t think it will be the last.”

“Really!!  Then you can do something about it?” asked the patient.

“No, I’m sorry I can’t,” said the doctor.  “You have case of Obamabutt.  And no one has found a cure.”

“Obamabutt??—what in the world is that?, the patient inquired.

“The condition, which is at a near pandemic stage, occurs when the person listens to and believes in what the president is saying,” said the doctor.  “You did vote for Obama, right?”

“Well, yes,” said the patient.  “How did you know?”

“The ‘Obama in 2012’ t-shirt laying over there in the corner is a dead giveaway, plus you have the worse case of Obamabutt I’ve seen to date,” the doctor replied.

“Well, how do we treat it?” asked the patient. “My butt is red and swollen--my friends won’t share a confined space with me and I’m miserable!!”

“Friends?  You voted for Obama twice and you still have friends?”, asked the doctor.

“I guess you do have a point,” said the patient.

“Tell me something,” the doctor said.  “This is your first visit to my office---why me?  What happened to your family doctor?”

And with that the patient, A. Joe Citizen, grabbed both butt cheeks and cried out loudly. “Owww, it hurts!!!  Don’t mention my other doctor!!”

“Are you referring to—‘if you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor?  Is that the doctor in question here?”

“Owww!!! Stop it!!! You’re making things worse!!!,” Joe cried out.

“Well then it looks like President Obama and I have something in common.  Making things worse and providing citizens a case of the red ass.  Yes, Mr. Obama and I do seem to have something in common........

 


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